You know how people with
small children just kind of disappear from your life, if you’re lucky only for
a few years? Well, of course I know now why this is so. A small child (or several
small children!) takes so much energy…if you have only small financial resources;
no parents around to help via free & mutually beneficial babysitting; and
want to do it right. Even with money and family handy, it ain’t easy.
And then, if you’re an artist
of some kind, you need time & space to devote to your art: physical time
& space, and mental time & space. To carve out even minute crumbs of this
elusive time & space becomes a huge challenge. You sacrifice other areas of
your “adult” life – maybe socializing, going out, email correspondence; maybe
keeping a clean house, advancing in whatever other career you may have, or making things
like scarves or cabinets. You don’t regret it, your wonderful child is worth
every bit of it. And yes, your child gives you BACK a different kind of
energy…warmth, love, a more relaxed attitude, feeling part of a larger cycle;
the confidence that you can do ANYTHING if you really have to, for that child.
Your child makes you LEARN, and there is nothing better than learning. But, in
all honesty: it remains difficult, the realization that your OTHER child, Art,
has had to make way for your physical child. Now, nothing is forever, and the
rhythm you’re in will surely change again…hold tight to the thought.
Another challenge living
with a small child poses to any artist is the repeated, constant realization
that whatever that child makes – art, music, dance – is so DAMN GREAT, it is
BETTER than anything you could make. Unencumbered, sure-footed, beautiful &
perfect every time. The famous Picasso observations “Every child is an artist. The
problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up” & “It took me four
years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child” are so very
true. Hopper rubs it in my face daily. And I’m so glad he does! When I am worn
out by juggling work, childcare, trying to create a better life,
retaining a semblance of a social life, and trying to keep up my art &
music, THAT CHILD with his magnificent freedom of expression & creation
reminds me that Art never fails to add magical sparks to life. It does not
matter whether that magic is put there by me, him, or entirely other people of
the past, present or future: what counts is that the Magic is HERE.
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